So I am having trouble at the sites. How much of this is me not being able to work in this type of environment and how much of this is me learning in my own way and rhythm? People in the business (doctors and nurses) have told me to not let them make me quit. They have advised me to keep soldiering on. This may be the one thing I'll be grasping onto now. Needless to say I have been having my own doubts. I still see myself at the end of the summer picnic, maybe. This is odd. On a bicycle none the less. This would be a very welcome message.

Wow, I haven't been here for a really long time. It is like shifting back to a previous incarnation almost. Well, maybe not that extreme. I am almost finished with my third quarter of school. I'd like to say it is going well, but it hasn't. The school part is fine but my time in practice at the sites has been a great challenge. I don't know whether I will be able to finish this. In any case I am going to try. I get plenty of feedback from those who know me and they invariably are wholeheartedly behind me. To a person they tell me to not give up. So here I go trying to make a good impression in the last three weeks.

I don't know whether I will get through this. My sight is limited. It is almost as if another me has to show up and continue this through. I wonder whether the saying that, "nothing worth doing is easy" is really true? It is quite painful right now screams the pot in the kiln.

Aisle Say (Seattle): THE VELVET RUT

Aisle Say (Seattle): THE VELVET RUT: "There is an equally affecting performance given by Sonya Walker, a girl with a dream whose journey out of a small town may be overly familiar as dramatic territory. What Ms. Walker manages, however, is to make her performance so infused with light and hope and goodness that it all seems fresh, and we care once more for a story we already know too well. As with many of the characters in this play, I was intrigued enough by the person that I felt shorted by the sparse information that I was given."

Where is Sonya?

Judy says I should post something new here. Hi Judy. I mostly go to my Facebook page to see what everyone else is up to. This site needs a lot up updating. The template is old and so are the links.

I have been out of school for about two weeks and we go back in two weeks. I made it through last quarter after a big scare concerning the clinical portion of the program. It is two quarters down now and a year and a half to go. My loans have been approved for the balance of school, a very welcome and necessary step. I was able to get very good grades, despite what I felt was having the rug pulled out from beneath me for a time.

I've moved to a little outside downtown Kirkland. I live in two basement rooms of a friend of a friend - for cheaps. It is what I really needed because my debt was going to kill me. I have that in a long term plan also. All this planning...what has happened to me?

Not much fishing lately or at least during school. I was going to go out this morning but the river is blown out for a good bit of time. It is raining/snowing like crazy in the mountains. There isn't much time for the river during school, nor for running. That last part isn't necessarily so. I think I use school as an excuse not to run. Joan sent me some money for new shoes. I'll take care of that soon.

So that is where I am pretty much right now. School will start in two weeks and I should be running again soon. I like to think that I've avoided some injuries by stopping when I did. Last year before the Seattle Marathon I was running around Lake Sammamish every Sunday for three consecutive weeks. That is about 22 miles around the lake. It will be nice to get back into that again.

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays all!

I don't know if anyone reads this anymore. I sure don't post much here. The comments no longer work.

I was accepted into the Radiologic Technology Program at Bellevue College.

A very welcome turn of events. Work has been crap and running has been sporadic. Cheers.

I just started Eckhart Tolle's book, The Power of Now. Here is an excerpt which I found clear, concise and also exceedingly useful:

"Sustained conscious attention severs the link between the pain-body and your thought processes and brings about the process of transmutation. It is as if the pain becomes fuel for the flame of your consciousness, which then burns more brightly as a result. This is the esoteric meaning of the ancient art of alchemy: the transmutation of base metal into gold, of suffering into consciousness. The split within is healed, and you become whole again. Your responsibility then is not to create further pain.

Let me summarize the process. Focus attention on the feeling inside you. Know that it is the pain-body. Accept that it is there. Don't think about it-don't let the feeling turn into thinking. Don't judge or analyze. Don't make an identity for yourself out of it. Stay present, and continue to be the observer of what is happening inside you. Become aware not only of the emotional pain but also of the 'the one who observes,'the silent watcher. This is the power of the Now, the power of your own conscious presence. Then see what happens."

-Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, 1999, pp.40-41

I don't want my facebook account to win out over this site. I need to spend some time re-doing the template. It'll be a learning curve.

I'm still pretty sore from the marathon. I don't think I have any real damage though. I was explaining to one of my residents yesterday that the race for me really begins at the two hour to two and a half hour point. That is when I hit the sixteen to twenty mile mark, roughly, and when I find out whether I can keep that pace. For the second year in a row I have run through that critical juncture on this course. These two races have been my only "good" races. I didn't bonk. Old hands say that a marathon is really two races; the first being the front twenty and the second being the last six-point-two. The whole process is akin to a sort of alchemy. To decide upon such an endevour, then to stick to the training to the point where such a run can be accomplished will change that person. It can even have a ripple effect upon people him or her.

Joe was sort of surprised and pleased that I stuck with the steelheading two years ago even when after two months I had still not caught one of those elusive fish. I replied that "I train for marathons, how useless is that?". Going out to the river at least once a week is not a problem. To marathon-train takes the long view. Now only to translate that thinking to other parts of my life. I have done that sort of thing with my job change. As an aside, I might need to get another supplementary job because I am in money trouble again. I had not wanted to make that move because I was highly unmotivated. The change has helped my spirits. Now, y'all take care.

Here is a fish I got yesterday before work:

I was supposed to have today off, but I was asked whether I would like two more shifts of training, so I agreed. And that is two more shifts in one day. I'll be there from 6:30am to 10:30pm today. I hope it all starts to come more easily. I worked an evening shift on Sunday and that shift went much better. I assume that it will come more easily with practice and experience. That is what I was told. Wish me well.

I got a fish yesterday :)

There, I'm registered for the Seattle Marathon on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

I now have a Facebook page.

What Doesn't Kill The Far-Right Only Makes Them Crazier. In this article Bob Cesca writes about their intellectual violence. The Votemaster over at Electoral-vote.com has a good run-down of some of the recounts and the future of the Republican Party.

This is my final day of work. More buckets of wet leaves.

Last night, in President elect Barak Obama's victory speech:

"And to all those watching tonight from beyond our shores, from parliaments and palaces to those who are huddled around radios in the forgotten corners of our world — our stories are singular, but our destiny is shared, and a new dawn of American leadership is at hand."

I cannot express how important this is.

The universe is once again telling me something. In one day I have been woken out of a dead sleep, had blood dripped on my stuff in my part of the the fridge and I found out I was missing some things out of there. She must have tossed them when she cleaned out some her old shit. This sort of thing happens to get my attention. It is time to leave. New job, new living space and maybe I'll find that euphamistic running partner I've been lacking.

Speaking of running, I again ran around Lake Sammamish. Part of it was in a very heavy downpour. It was raining cats and dogs. I took five minutes off my time from last Sunday. Woo hoo. I might be securely ready for the marathon at the end of the month. Here's to hoping.

Today's horoscope:

"Take a break from the trail you're on and get off the beaten path, dear Sagittarius. Today is a day to forge ahead with ideas and dreams rather than commitments and answers. Question things and debate the facts. Whatever you do, have fun. This is the perfect day to go out and have fun. All group activities are strongly favored. You can't go wrong with joining up with friends and chatting away about the latest events of your life."

Ok, will do. Gonna run at the Redmond Watershed very soon. I picked up a new rod yesterday and I'll try it out after that. What could be better?

Well, I've gotten another job. I start in a few weeks. I'm going to go over there today to fill out some papers. A large group of my runner friends are now doing the Best of Seattle Tour 18 miler. I'm missing out so after my appointment in Bellevue I'll run around Lake Sammamish alone. I'll bring gatorade and Gu.

The new job is in eldercare. I'll be working at an assisted living community in Bellevue. I've had it with my other job. I've been long due for a change.

It is a really nice day today.

We are off to Victoria today. A bunch of us are running the Royal Victoria Marathon tomorrow. We'll catch the clipper and enjoy the cruise there. Wish me well. Oh, finally caught a chum yesterday.

It is hard to get started writing in here again. I did some running this weekend. Saturday I ran on Cougar Mt. with the club. I did about 12 miles I think. Today I was to meet a few people in Redmond and ended up running around Lake Sammamish with Richard. His fancy watch said we did 22 miles. I think that is enough until Tuesday or so. I need to get my hair cut tomorrow. Abby called me to say she ran a five miler in Greenfield on Saturday. Good job abigail!

Poor fishing lately. I went down to the Green today and I was on the Skykomish on Friday and Saturday. This rain we are having right now will help. Peace.

I can use today's horoscope as a reminder for myself in the future. It reads:

Sagittarius
November 22 - December 20
It isn't always easy to think about how your life is going, dear Sagittarius. Imagine if you were alone in the world, with nothing to hold you back or force you to do one thing or another. At least once a month, consecrate an hour to "visualizing" what your life would be like under these conditions. This will help you figure out what is impeding you today.

I just put the archive link back in the left-hand sidebar. It hasn't been there for a long while. I plan to write more in here, which would amount to writing at all. I'll have to keep my attention on the above horoscope.

I came home as a surprise Wednesday/Thursday. I timed it so I could run in the Old Home Days Mug Race. I didn't do as well as I had hoped. I don't know whether that was due to the margaritas and beer the night before, the jet lag or the relative humidity I am no longer accustomed to. After the race there was the parade. Here are two pictures I tweaked to look like old post cards.