It took so long to get this thing going that I've nearly forgotten what I was going to write. I found my college transcript. I took eight courses after I had graduated when I was working at the university. What I am struck by though is how these grades on one level are important but on another level they make completely no difference whatsoever. Along with the transcript I have kept a myriad of cards and letters from family and friends. I'm not looking forward to the dreams which will come of this. All the other stuff in the containers are important to me. I'm not sure with the prerequisite requirements for the program I am looking at that I have a chance. Clumsy sentence I know. Do I go in another direction? I don't know whether I have cold feet from doing something new or that some portion of myself is telling me that this is not my way. This is a particularly difficult place. Confounding mortal coil. Good night.

This week wiped me out. I thought the aftermath of being sort of sick was over but I had to get some more pseudo safeway theraflu (lemon). This stuff rules. I get to sleep now. Tomorrow I'll go to Fall City and get my trailer and bike. Last week I washed and waxed the car and this week it will be the ACE. I'll tell the owner of the trailer/boat/RV place that I'll be taking keeping the trailer elsewhere. I'm thinking about transcripts, advising and school in general. Now I have to go from the thinking to the scheduling and attending. I don't think I am ready to take a math placement test. I got through calculus at Umass and have tried to not use anything approaching that level for a long time. On the upside I don't think that math can change that much over time. I hope.

The cold/flu finally struck and now after about two weeks I feel there is little left. We did the big mow today. It was a lot of walking behind the 36" mower. When we go to ten hour days I'll feel it alot more. It will also make it harder to do what I'll need for the class I'll be taking in a month. BCC accepted me (they accept everyone). Next I need to see what I have taken in the past. A high school class may fulfill a requirement. I can't remember what I took for sure or for how long. Nothing else is new. I'm mowing grass again, I don't have a girl and it is still the same cold and rainy here. I just finished a book though, "Bones of The Earth" by Michael Swanwick. It deals with time travel. It was interesting reading this book while also reading "The 'Unknown' Reality, Volume Two" by Jane Roberts and Seth. In it it says,

"The rockbed reality is the one in which the perceiver is focused. From that standpoint all others would seem peripheral. Taking that for granted, however, any given reality system will be surrounded by its probability clusters. These can almost be thought of as satellites. Time and space need not be connected, however - that is, the attractions that exist between a reality and any given probability cluster may have nothing to do with time and space at all." session 712, Pg 344.

You have to read a lot of what came before and after before it even begins to make sense.

"As closely as I can explain it in your terms, your concepts of space travel have you going around (underlined) space rather than directly through (underlined) it.
(9:40.) Give us time ... You are also viewing your solar system through your own time perspective, which is relative. You 'look backward into time,' you say, when you stare outward into the universe. You could as well look into the future, of course." session 712, Pg 344.

***

And I almost forgot, here is Molly Ivins' ode to howard.

Red Dirt Girl has a personal crisis right now. Maybe she can get some support from the net from people who have been in her shoes. As she wrote, "It's a big deal."

And here is David S. Broder's ode to Howard.

Here is William Greider's ode to Howard Dean.

Here is an interesting and disturbing peek into a criminal subculture. In this article,

"Task-force detectives have found auto thieves high on the drug who had been awake for two days straight, and who steal cars as simply a means to get around. In between, they shoplift, run drugs, steal mail and write bad checks. They prowl cars for items to pawn, and steal coats when they are cold.

The task force is turning up other tidbits of useful information. Here are a few:

• The tools du jour in car-burglary kits are shaved keys — keys that are filed down and then jiggled in a door lock or an ignition switch to open a door or start the car.

• Some thieves take license plates off stolen vehicles and put fake temporary-license notices in the rear window in an attempt to fool police.

• One thief showed Nelson how to grab the window of a particular make of car and pull it out far enough to stick an arm in and unlock the door, without breaking anything."

They are all in an uproar at work. I'm not worried about the drug testing in a few weeks but others are. There is a theory that the owner wants to clean house and replace those who are almost-decently-paid with those who-are-undecently-paid. When I got there today I thought that I was going to work with Robyn applying fertilizer to rhododendrons, azaleas and fruit trees, but I had to drive for James instead. We cleaned up a corner of a property in Mill Creek. Again I hauled leaves and dirt in barrels on my shoulder. I'd like to write about something more interesting.

I'm sorry, Scott and Chrissie, but I won't be going on your cruise. I had to tell Abby for certain today. If it had been any other week when I wouldn't be starting something completely new then you would have had me. This is the first time in seventeen (boy that makes me feel old) years that I'm going to start working for something that isn't just me getting by. I'll figure out sometime just what that time has really meant for me. I can't say that it has all been for naught. Maybe I just need to find the right yardstick. Can you tell that this career soul-searching has been exceptionally difficult? Maybe that will be my book. I don't have the story down yet even though it is mine. It will need context and significance.

Here is the latest from Ted Rall: "Since Bush has lost his trillion-dollar gamble, it's time for him to pay off the casino and vacate the high rollers' suite."

Speaking of "I'mtoleyou", on this day five (*not four) years ago Dad passed away. My friends used to think he was speaking polish or something when he'd emphasize a statement with "I'mtolyou" or "umtoyou". What he was saying was that he was telling you, you could believe him. Here's to thinking of you Dad, from #9. Maybe I'll smoke one of your cigars today.

I applied online today to Bellevue Community College. I need to start taking prerequisite courses in the spring quarter for either their radiology or radiation therapy programs. It will have to be a night course. After mowing raking and pruning all day I'll sure to be beat... In the long run, however, it will beat me having to mow, rake and prune into my forseeable future.

Go and read this, you'll be glad you did. I'mtoleyou.

Read William Saletan's explanation of "Bush's difficult relationship with reality." He explains that, "Bush isn't Clinton. He doesn't change his mind for anything, whether it's polls or facts. And he always tells the truth about what's in his mind, whether or not what's in his mind corresponds to what's in the visible world."

The day started rainy and then cleared in the afternoon. I was then able to put in a small workout in the fitness center and go for a run. We are supposed to have a few days of good weather coming up. A high pressure system will hopefully keep away the typical Seattle weather. It isn't warm enough to bring the bike out so I can't miss that. I may be able to bring my trailer here because my apartment complex is lowering the rental space rate. Tracy called and asked me about work and whether I followed up on the school thing. So I'm going to follow up on the school thing by applying to BCC and taking a night course in biology. With that I'll be started. I still need to compare my transcript from UMass to see what course credits I can transfer. I hope this is the right way to go. As Joannie says, I can be older when I finish, with more education, or I can be just older. I can't fall into the landscaping black hole of employment for too much longer.

This is interesting: "We will see by November who has the winning hand."

Dave wants to see Nader run again in 2004. I'm not sure that is such a good idea, because no one really listened to him anyways but more importantly because I want to see regime change in Washington. I'd love it if everyone listened to what Nader has to say. He has some stinging criticisms of corporate America, "corporate" war and the state of this country. Will anyone listen to him this next time? I hope so, but at the same time I don't want to again witness what I saw in Palm Beach County in 2000.

Don at work called me today to ask whether I'd like to go back. "Yeah", I said. I won't turn down work. He said he'd try to get me some more money too. So I'm back to landscaping for the time being. My break has afforded me the opportunity to think and research about what I'd like to do next. I came up with some sort of job or role in the healthcare field. After tending to Mom I believe I'd be good at that. Ultimately I'd like to return to school to be a radiologic tech. or radiation therapist. They are very difficult programs to get into and I'd have to figure out how I'd be able to work and go to school. From where I am now it seems like quite a puzzle.

How the fuck does Bush and his mafia henchmen think that his smiling while he lies makes what he says not the lies they are? Just a question I have when I see him on the TV. Vote him out. And get rid of his neocon world domination business buddies too. Get out! Get out! Get out!

"Misfires of a 'smoking gun' in Iraq debate"

Yes, yes, yes. Vinatieri does it again. From the Seattle Times. And how about Janet? Do you think it was unintentional as MTV states? I don't.