So, so tired. I've been overdoing it lately and I'm feeling it. I worked with Robyn today and because of this I think I got less done. He is our applicator (herbicides, etc...), and he isn't interested in maintenance. I can't blame him. Bob found it funny to refer to us as Natman and Robyn today.

No ultimate in Marymoor this evening. I had a hard time trying to not fall asleep on the ride home. I'll do the track workout tomorrow after work and then probably take Thursday off (workouts, that is). I'd like to take work off for good but I need a plan for that. I haven't even looked into school yet. I think I'm still stinging a little from my failed interview and thus avoiding BCC. What would I like to do? Something artistic and enough to support me. I'd like to be able to be free enough in my expression that I wouldn't be tied into an orthodox mindset and group of norms. Needless to say I'd be a lot more relaxed. Annoyingly so. Good night.

Bob and I hiked from the Paradise Visitors Center on Mt. Rainier to Camp Muir yesterday. I think I am now a little more a part of the northwest since I joined the REI collective. I needed boots for hiking, work and the motorcycle. I hope these do all three. They may be a little too nice for work, but I had to bite the bullet and get them. The hike itself was difficult, as it was last year. It took us 4 1/2 hours to make it up there. The snowpack was smaller than last year with crevasses, water and tricky routes around them. I'd take a half marathon over this hike almost any day. It was humbling. This panorama shows the Muir Snowfield but the small size of this picture does not do it justice, and it also doesn't convey the sheer steepness of the incline. The pictures I took last year were more scenic. Yay for the sun!

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Originally uploaded by nthaniel.

I biked from my place across the I90 bridge after work today.

We had Peter's service on Friday. Here he was at the Redmond Watershed in the spring:




We scattered his ashes on Saturday morning on Rattlesnake Ridge. There is quite a nice view from up there.




I'll add a few more pictures from that day I hope. On Sunday I finally bought a bicycle. It is, of all things, a Schwinn.




It is quite light for the price, especially when compared to the bikes which were available when I bought mine 22 years ago. That one is long gone. This new one is made out of aluminum and it has carbon fiber forks. It is above entry level but to me and what I was used to it is very far up. I rode it to Redmond Town Center today, about 14 miles round trip. Another biker already yelled at me to "go." I've heard at how impatient and rude they can be. This is the point where I miss the back country roads of Western Massachusetts. This is a strange website. I have a year to pay it off. I hope my lottery tickets pan out.

Hey, I almost forgot. In the spring I fished some geraniums out of the Costco dumpster. They weren't pretty anymore, but geraniums are tough. I repotted half of them and kept the rest on their original pots. They get water, sun and food and they have been flowering like crazy. Because my deck looks so nice, I won $75.00 off next month's rent. Something is working for me. Now, to think about school ....

I didn't get my four days off. We have a new boss and he said no. He was whining about me asking for a vacation day so I tried to shut him up by telling him that its for a funeral. He then went on about an enjoyable Irish funeral he attended in Dorchester. Fucking moron. He is from Massachusetts too. Hudson. I think he is similar to a previous con-man of a boss we had once, but without the alcohol. As you can surmise, I'm not feeling too optimistic about this guy. I have to start planning for the fall and for my next job. I'd like to stick around to watch him crash but I need to get moving. Tootles.

Oh yeah, I played ultimate frisbee this evening. I think I'm gonna be sore.

I worked Monday in exchange for Friday so that I could attend Peter's celebration of life. The problem is that the celebration is next week, not this. Now I have a four day weekend. I don't want to do this again next week so I think I'll take that Friday off with a vacation day. This Friday I'll help Trish clean her yard. I can't get away from the dirt and greens. We run in Kirkland this week.

Here is a link to Peter's obituary. When I would tell family and friends about Peter and Trish, I would have to say how incredibly nice they are, were. I really enjoyed running with Peter. We were well matched speed-wise and I already mentioned how decent he was. I found out later he was a fan of Garbage. So we liked the same music.

Here are a few words from Emmanuel. No matter how much I read this stuff, I have always seemed to forget it; it always sounds fresh and new. He says,

"Violent death is violent only to those who remain behind to view it. To the one who dies, it is simply a wondrous flight Home. All the drama takes place on your side of the doorway. From my viewpoint, the entrance to death is clear Light.

...

"The very act of dying does wonderful things for people. It releases them from illusion. You cannot imagine what a relief it is when you finally have accepted the fact that you are going to let go of the physical body. You say, 'All right, I'm being squeezed out of this like toothpaste out of a tube, and I simply cannot go back because the body doesn't function.' The moment you surrender, it is joyous.

...

"And what is it like beyond this world?
It is very different.
It is much the same
for you take yourself with you.

Those who find the thought
of traveling through eternity with themselves
distasteful
have important work to do.
It is the work of self-love.

You are your best companion
and you accompany yourself always.

That is the only structure I can give you
for the entire universe
is predicated on love
creating itself."

Emmanuel's Book II, The Choice for Love, Pat Rodegast and Judith Stanton